How to Make People Pay Attention to Feminism: How to be a Woman

Hey ladies and gents, hope you had a wonderful holiday. I apologize for my absence the past two weeks, but, as we all know from my explanation around Thanksgiving, holidays, for me, are not conducive to great amounts of reading. I did, however, enjoy my holiday—especially the assorted books and the $50 Barnes and Noble gift card that will fund my continued reading and participation with this blog. I hope everyone else was as fortunate present and family time wise, as I was.

So, on to this week’s book: Caitlin Moran’s How to Be a Woman. This one was recommended to me by a good friend who has excellent taste in books. You should know that I owe my picky taste in romance novels to this girl and her extensive collection—she knows how to pick books that are wonderfully naughty while still maintaining worthwhile characters and plots. Those of you who thought 50 Shades was great you should probably stop by and see her for some much more worthy (and yet still cheaper) reads.

Anyway, she reads a lot more than romance novels, and a few weeks ago she suggested that I pick up How to be a Woman. And, let me tell you, I’m so glad I did. This book is funny with a capital F—and there’s a lot of other F words in there as well. I  earned myself a quite a few weird looks after bursting out laughing on the T with this book a few times. Plus, while being hilarious and expanding your vocabulary of less than polite words, it also brings your attention to a lot of relevant questions and accepted beliefs surrounding women and their role.

Not only does Moran encourage women to take back and wholeheartedly support feminism, she draws our attention to why it has fallen out of favor in the past and which definition of the word we should focus on in the future. One of the keys to improving our world, especially in a societal sense, is recognizing accepted norms and questioning them. Sure, some things that are culturally acceptable or not acceptable might need to stay that way—they might be what’s best for right now. But some things that we take for granted as being okay, or not okay, are actually the opposite. If we’re not constantly seeing and questioning what’s accepted in society, we fall prey to subtle prejudices and stereotypes that can be harmful both to society as a whole, and to people on an individual level.

In this book, Moran draws your attention to and invites you to question the things we learn, both consciously and unconsciously, about how to be a woman. And she does so in such a fun, conversational way, that it almost seems like she’s inviting you to a girls-night-out gripe session where you finally have a chance to speak up about what you find ridiculous when it comes to what’s expected of you as a person of the female sex. You name it, she talks about it—waxing, high heels, fashion, porn, workplace etiquette, art and literature, music, menstruation, revolution—no topic is too big or too small.

One of my favorite parts was actually a small mention of body weight and image and it serves as a good example of what makes this book great. Though she may not devote the whole book to any one issue, she manages to breifly (and not so briefly) touch on many of the things many women are concerned with. In terms of the weight and body image issue, she not only assuages your worries, she also calls both society and you on your bullsh*t. Just to give you a little taste: the fashion industry does not make clothes for the average woman's body. So when we try to find clothes, we're constantly confronted by the fact that our bodys are not "right," instead of realizing it's the clothes that are the problem. In one case in the book, Moran has to do a photo shoot, and goes into it very optimistically, wondering what could possibly go wrong with a team of professionals to make her look good. She then realizes, however, how much work it is to look good in clothes that aren't right. In the same token, Moran calls attention to the fact that you can't just use that as an excuse to be an blob--a health disaster waiting to happen, perpetually unhappy with the way you look and feel. And she doesn't keep herself out of this assessment either--like I said she calls anyone and everyone out on their bull. No matter what you should strive to keep yourself in shape for health reasons and to remain "human shaped."

But the best part of all, in my opinion, is the final takeaway. Yes, Moran speaks up for feminism, but she also understands why it got a bad rap. Not every woman wants to participate in the same fervent, bra burning feminism many of us think of when the word “feminist” is used. Moran though, reminds us of and supports the most basic form of feminism. She simply states that every woman should be in favor of their right to do what they want—that no woman should be restricted because of her gender. Does that mean no woman should ever be a housewife, or wear heels, or stay in shape? No. Moran feels, and she encourages readers to feel, that feminism means doing what makes you happy and deciding to follow an accepted gender role doesn’t necessarily mean you’re betraying yourself and women everywhere. As long as you wear heels, work out, and take care of the house because that’s what you want and it makes you happy, then you should go right ahead.
That, I thought, was a great message for any reader—not only women, though that’s who she focuses on, but men as well. I mean, I’m not saying (nor is she saying) that you should go on a murderous rampage if that’s what would make you happy. Within reason and the general confines of the law (though perhaps not every law if it’s unjust) though, both women and men should be able to do what they want without worrying that it will make them seem unmanly or unwomanly.

Because of this idea, I would not only recommend this book to adult readers—who will certainly get a kick out of it and may even find themselves surprised by the things they’ve simply accepted throughout their lives—but I would also encourage younger women (and men actually) to read it. Yes, it does have some sensitive material—Moran doesn’t censor her swears nor her talk about sex, drugs, giving birth, and a variety of other things. But a reader mature enough to handle that, while still in the young formative years of their lives, would benefit greatly from her universally accepting attitude.

So readers, in case you couldn’t tell already, this is definitely one for the shelf. My only complaints about it actually were #1 She makes a lot of pop culture references that I completely missed—but honestly, that’s more my fault than hers because I’m not up to date at all in that department. #2 although she does break up her theorizing and commentary with amusing anecdotes, this isn’t really a “story” book. So if you’re looking for straight up fiction, just save this one for another day—you’ll appreciate it more if you’re expecting it. #3 This also isn't straight up nonfiction, so don't go into this expecting a thoroughly researched essay on feminine discourse.

And #4, if you're a straight male reader, or even a gay male reader, this may not exactly be your cup of tea. She does a good deal of complaining about bras and periods, which may be a little less relatable if you don't deal with either of those. BUT I still encourage people of any gender to read it if you think you can read it with an open mind. In general women are much more aware of the ways they're discriminated against, but sometimes we can be the biggest culprits when it comes to accepting and perpetuating harmful stereotypes. So we can always use more awareness from both halves of the population.